021925 Dispatch: Hanks Hypocrisy, a 'Queer' Female Jesus ... and Trump & Musk Tag Team Hannity

It’s Wednesday, February 19, and time for another dispatch from your Bananas Republic.

Donald Trump and Elon Musk Do Joint Interview With Sean Hannity

President Trump and his wingman Elon Musk did a joint interview with Sean Hannity last night. Fascinating, ground-breaking interview. By that, I mean the two talked almost as much as Hannity. Trump and Musk came off as relaxed and very comfortable together. “Yeah,” said my inner Rachel Maddow, “Like Hitler and Mussolini!”

Hannity joked the two were like brothers. “Yeah,” my inner Maddow raged. “Like the Menendez Brothers because they’re murdering mommies and daddies around the world with their budget cuts!”

Seriously, Musk talked about how liberal friends lost their minds when he brought up Trump before the election. I do wonder why Big Pharma hasn’t come up with a vaccine yet for TDS. You’d think there’d be big money in that.

DOGE Wins Big Court Victory

A U.S. federal district judge with a history of trashing Trump and his supporters gave the president and DOGE a major victory in their bid to expose and cut government waste, fraud and abuse. US District Judge Tayna Chutkan has rejected a petition by 14 blue states to issue a temporary restraining order to block Musk and Trump. Begrudgingly.

Chutkan wanted desperately to side with the blue states, writing “Plaintiffs legitimately call into question what appears to be the unchecked authority of an unelected individual and an entity that was not created by Congress and over which it has no oversight,” she ruled she could not issue the restraining order “without clear evidence of imminent, irreparable harm to these Plaintiffs.”

Guess the Democratic governors could not explain how they’d be harmed by lack of trans coloring books in Peru. (Though you have to wonder if any owe their election to 150-year-olds in the Social Security System. Eh, Katie Hobbs?)

Meanwhile, U.S. District Judge Randolph Moss ruled Tuesday that DOGE can continue accessing student data at the Department of Education. They’re hunting for waste and fraud.

The suit was brought by a coalition of students from the University of California Students Association, but the judge ruled the students provided no evidence of actual harm.

Kinda funny to think of students with smartphones, smart TVs and social media accounts suddenly being concerned about privacy. “Here’s this video of me getting buck naked and wasted in Daytona Beach, and Google knows more about me than my mother, but how dare Elon Musk look to see if there’s funny business with my government loans!”

Everything on the Table in Finding Cause of Deteriorating American Health

Newly-installed HHS Secretary Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. says they’ll be looking under every rock to determine what caused the “precipitous decline” in American health, including factors “formerly taboo or insufficiently scrutinized”:

“childhood vaccine schedule, electromagnetic radiation, glyphosate, other pesticides, ultra-processed foods, artificial food additives, SSRIs and other psychiatric drugs, PFAs, PFOAs, microplastics—nothing is going to be off limits.”

Yep. Everything’s on the table… right next to the KFC, Big Macs and Girl Scout cookies.

We’ve got to get healthy. Personally, I’m getting tired of people asking me when I’m due.

Speaking of which …

Data Shows Drop in Maternal Death Rates Post Dobbs

Since Roe v. Wade was overturned, the pro-abortion forces have been claiming the decision would kill women. “Abortion saves lives!” the signs say. We even heard claimed the maternal death rate has risen since the Dobbs decision. However, is this true?

Not according to the latest data from the National Center for Health Statistics. The 2023 maternal mortality rate in the U.S. was “18.6 deaths per 100,000 live births.” This is a drop from the 22.3 deaths in 2022.

Is that a direct result of the end of Roe? Don’t know. But it does put to rest the myth the end of Roe would kill women.

However, I do think incessant screeching about the end of Roe has killed many a night of romance.

Self-Described “Queer” Woman to Play Lead in Hollywood Bowl Production of Jesus Christ Superstar

Wicked star Cynthia Erivo will be playing Jesus in a summer production of Jesus Christ Superstar at the Hollywood Bowl. The black … and occasionally green … Erivo bills herself as “queer” and bisexual.

On one hand, you can understand the Hollywood Bowl’s thinking: “Get a star of Wicked? Who cares what role she plays! Let her play all the Von Trapp kids in The Sound of Music as long as she’s on the bill.”

On the other hand, c’mon. They know damn well casting a gay woman as Jesus is a deliberate slap in the face to Christians. It’s not brave. It is not cutting. It’s contempt. Let’s see her cast as Mohammed, then we’ll talk.

Of course, this is the same city that decided to honor the blasphemous Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence at Dodger Stadium, putting a thumb in the eye to the heavily-Catholic Hispanic community that makes up much of the Dodger fan base.

Will Erivo blow the roof off the place … well, if the Hollywood Bowl had a roof? Sure. But is this kind of stunt casting designed to tear at Christianity proper? Yup. It’s the kind of move by the theater world that explains why President Trump moved to take over the board of the Kennedy Center.

Random question: Would it be okay for Lassie to star in Cats?

One More Thought on Tom Hanks’ Odious Portrayal of a MAGA Supporter

Meanwhile, Tom Hanks continues getting heat for depicting MAGA supporters as racist during the SNL 50 broadcast Sunday night. (And you thought Hanks doing Bonfire of the Vanities was a career miscue.)

There’s one element to the story that makes Hanks’ portrayal even more bananas. Later in the SNL 50 special, Hanks introduced a segment of clips of non-PC bits from the 50 years that would no longer fly. One example, stereotypes. But Hanks was perfectly happy delivering a slanderous stereotype of the “racist MAGA supporter.”

Bananas Bites

The inventor of Nutella, Francesco Rivella, has died at the age of 97.

Italian chemist Francesco Rivella, the inventor of Nutella, has passed away at the age of 97

Rivella’s ashes will be spread over a nice piece of wheat toast.

This concludes today’s Dispatch. Spread the good word like it was Nutella, and have a great day.